toadwat
and now my butt is bruised. then the library laptop i was using deleted my modern philosophy paper when it was 6 pages long. fortunately i had the first 4 saved on my email. ahem. yeah, that really helps when you are writing about descartes and berkeley. today is pretty much sucking, and i dont plan on getting a lot of sleep-but at least tomorrow night i am done!! then i get to go hang out at a friend's house, and its gonna be wonderful. i just hope i can finish this paper and get my room packed up in time...
send happy thoughts my way!!
and its been 7 months... 04-30-06 22:12
wow. so I'm sitting here putting off my homework and studying for finals week (bc i've spent the last 7 months in the library) and I think, didn't I post on elowel a long time ago? So I get on here, and decide to reactivate my account. So here I am!

Crazy sophomore year at UNK, though, wow. Seriously, I love my major, it is amazing and interesting, and I'm learning a crapload-but it pretty much means I spend every night studying. Which isn't so bad sometimes-you kinda get into the swing of it-but when life gets hard and you don't have time to deal with it, it sucks. And thats what has been going on the last couple months. Life can get tough. Fortunately, this is the last week of school, then I get 3 weeks at home before I head out to Myrtle Beach for 10 weeks!

I'm so excited for this summer, for real. I'm going to go on a summer project with Campus Crusade for Christ, and its going to be amazing. Last summer in Asia taught me so much, and I can't wait to work with high school students. Then I'll be an RA here on campus next year, and I'm sure I'm gonna learn a ton from that! It's going to be even busier, but next year it'll be busy working with my residents and talking to them and planning programs and making doordecks-that kind of busy isn't as bad as meetings every night.

Well, I guess I don't have a whole lot to say tonight. I need to start packing tonight so that Thursday night I can go out (i think I'll need to really bad by then). My room is such a disaster!! Hopefully I'll keep posting this time!
seriously 09-06-05 20:15
so there is this guy. who is supposedly my friend. but he repeatedly makes idiotic jerky comments. and they are really rude. and he just doesn't get that you don't say those things to, well, anyone-let alone a girl!

so i got my nose pierced, right? and i actually really like it, and i've gotten tons of nice comments about it. but nick, well, gah. so during break in orchestra, he's on break from band, and all of us are hanging out, and he's suddenly like, i'm really pissed at you for piercing your nose. i'm thinking, and how does this affect you? and so i'm like why? he's like, it's ugly.

WHO SAYS THAT???

seriously-there are way kinder ways of saying you don't like something. like, i don't think it really fits your style, or i just really don't like pierced noses, etc. but no. nick has to tell me it's ugly. which, just in case your not a girl, is the equivelant of telling me I'M ugly. well, gee, thanks. as if it's not hard enough for a girl to feel beautiful in today's world. and i've been doing really well. i don't think i'm ugly. in fact, i think im rather cute. i may not be the hottest or skinniest girl around, but i have my own beauty, and i've learned to appreciate it for what it is.

but don't tell me that any part of me is ugly. it brings down my whole day. and it takes like 5-10 beautiful comments to even begin to make up for that one ugly comment. thats just not the way you talk to people. at all.

and i try to confront him about the rude things he says-but he just doesn't get it. i have like seriously said to him about comments he make that they bug me, and he's like, oh, sorry-THEN HE MAKES THE SAME COMMENTS!!! GAH!!! that's not how confrontation is supposed to work bro-not at all.

gr. i really need to confront him tonight. or i'm going to go to bed on my anger, and it will be bad. hopefully i can. unfortunately, he lives way across campus and it is really dark outside. so it might have to wait for tomorrow night.gah.

time for homework-joy.
09-02-05 20:57
hooray! finally got my nose pierced! and i like it, too. :) (and it only cost me 20 dollars!)

im home for the weekend. should be a pretty good time. it is nice to hang out with my sister now that we are friends. and i love my nephew. he is the cutest kid in the world.

i had my job interview this morning. i really hope i get the job. they said they would let me know by next week. but yeah, i really need a job, and i would really like that one. it went pretty well, so yeah, like i said, hoping....

meh, life is kind of boring at the moment. stayed up way late wednesday night with the 3rd floor girls. we were like a bunch of 13 year old girls at a sleepover-way loud and rambunctious and totally random. its the best way to be. unfortunately, i then overslept the next morning and was half an hour late to one of my classes. meh. at least i went for the last 45 minutes.

i guess i have nothing else to talk about. oh yeah-one of the pike ra's is really really cute and i have a class with him :). trust me-way cute.

good night all!
scariest movie ever! 08-31-05 10:21
woah. the ring two. was pretty dang scary.

seriously. i thought it was gonna be all dumb, and maybe it was, but it still scared the crap out of me. like for real it did. and then i had nightmares. ugh.

btw-i have a job interview on friday at Solid rock!!! :)
wow. what a night. 08-30-05 12:38
i get the feeling that people on here probably don't like me very much. because i am honest with how i feel about things. but i guess thats why its a journal with replies-so people can be honest. i know i will probably get crap for replies i may or may not make-but people make the same replies to me, so i hope they won't get angry.

last night was... insane. had a really really long meeting and got done around 9:30. i was kind of upset with a girl, so i took my pledge daughter out to ice cream so i could vent about it, and maybe put up some kind of mode of action through it. I love briana-best pledge daughter in the world :).

after that we decided to stop by at randall and say hi to moemoe, bc briana hadnt really hung out with her yet this year (and we both had Bible study with her last year), but she was busy with hall council stuff, so we stopped by to say hi to other peeps. funny times with us being dorks, lol. then she met nick..... you know, i love him to death, he is a fellow brother, and i forgive him for the jerky things he says, but he really made a bad impression on briana. luckily, she already kind of new how hed be, bc id told her.

then morgan called us back, so we went down to her room. well, she was really busy, and one of my other friends came and talked to us.

well, this friend went through a strong depression last year. and i talked with him quite a few times about it. so last night, he explains that he has realized where the depression came from. and then he came out. and he explains how he has gotten an extremely great relationship with God and was confirmed through him. now-i really dont mean to offend anyone on here, but i know that God never says that is alright to be gay. in fact, gay is not a real thing. it is a choice. that doesnt change the fact that i love this friend, and he knows this. we had an extremely long talk about it, neither of us were ever offended, but he knows where i stand. he also knows that i will never leave his side, but that i still do not agree with the choices he is making. it was a very hard conversation. but it went very well. and now i will continue to pray for him every day.

so i didnt get my homework done for today, due to a lack of being in my room. so the day was somewhat stressful reading between classes, but it went overall well. forgot i was supposed to make a tiny speech on career adds in speech class, but i was able to fake it pretty well. wont be doing that again, though.

now its just a break since there is no band today. then Bible study and orchestra. and then dinner at 9:30 at night. meh. and then yay homework. gonna have to skip movie night with the sig taus tonight, theyll understand.

bye for now, im gonna do some homework!
week two: end 08-27-05 11:27
Man, what a crazy life it has been so far. Things with my roommate have so far been great. In fact, I talked with her about God for an hour yesterday-and it was totally not a planned thing. We started by talking about sex, and it suddenly evolved. HOORAY!!! seriously, i think that was the best way ever to end a week.

I dropped my college algebra class. im hoping to still take it online through metro comm. but i dont know yet. i really need a job. badly. im hoping to get one at Solid Rock (a bookstore downtown). that would be awesome. then (since i dropped my class) i could work mon, wed, fri from open to 2 and saturdays when there arent games.

Tuesdays are gonna kick my butt. bad. i have class from 9:30-2, then an hour and half break, then band, then women's leadership Bible study, then KASO (orchestra). until 9:30. so i have a 12 hour day. its kind of insane, but i think ill make it. thursdays were gonna be better, but it looks like the Bible study im leading might have to be at 5:30 and then there will be a break before crusade. I was hoping to have it on Wednesdays, bc thats my only free night, but i dont think its gonna work. :( sad day.

its been a fun week though. sunday was the crusade water fight. i was soaked, haha. then monday night i was free (meetings havent started yet). wednesday was the annual crusade pizza bash, and it went sooooo well. seriously, there were hundreds of people that showed up and old chicago is my hero with how much pizza they donated. then another water fight got started, lol. and joseph may poured a bucket of water on my head. oh, we will have words. haha.

last night was dinner and a movie with crusade, and moe and squirt and i did a back rub train throughout the movie :). i love them. then we had a slumber party in moe's room at randall and watched friends. way cool.

now today is the uno unk game, and its gonna be a blast. im excited to see all the old north high peeps that will come up. plus new friends ive made. then im not sure whats up. maybe hanging out with suave, since shes visiting, or maybe with andy, if hes not still being a jerk.

seriously, i am so upset with him right now. and i dont knwo what to do about it. he avoids me like the plague these days, and it wouldnt be such a big deal if we hadnt hung out every night last year. not to mention going to asia together. youd think he could stand to talk to me. but apparently ive done something wrong or something, bc he wont even look at me. so tonight is the last effort im putting out. if he doesnt want to hang out with me tonight, im going to tell him that if he ever wants to hang out with me then its his turn. i wont be trying anymore. and if the only time he wants to see me is at weekly crusade meetings, then fine. thats the only time he will see me. im sick of trying.

its just really hard. i dont want to lose my friend.

well, im out. maybe gonna take a nap? i dunno, ive got about 2 hours before i need to be there, so i could prob take an hour nap before i get all made up for the game.

bye!
recruitment is over. 20 new girls! thats good news.

band camp is over. mostly learned all the stuff i needed to in less than half the time it should have taken me. thats good news, too.

and now its back to the real world. Thank goodness that includes being allowed to walk in randall and hang out with morgan and amber. its been so hard to be so busy and to have so much on my mind and not be able to see them. its like in asia, when i didnt have either of them, i was going through a lot of healing (which is awesome), but in order to heal you have to fully feel that pain first, and i didnt have either of them with me. well, moving into the house with a different roommate than i expected-one that practices wicca and tarot cards-without them has been really really hard.

it hasnt been bad yet. in fact, ive only been in my room like 10 minutes at a time when im not in bed. but im so scared. im praying, and i ask for lots of prayers. but oh man, its going to be so hard. what am i going to do the first time she pulls out a pck of tarot cards? leave? turn up my worship music? tell her to stop? i dont know. maybe just sit in my bed and pray for her. i think thats the only thing i can do. and ill tell her im praying for her. maybe that will help.

its weird when you are sitting in your room and its all set up, all your stuff is there, but it still feels like camp. and then you go over to randall hall, into your old room, and none of your stuff is there, its totally different, but it still feels like home. man, its gonna be a tough year. but i know its what God wants for me. He wants me to move people. and He wants me to talk about Him. well, im going to do it. and im going to pray, and im going to learn to love it. because thats what obedience is all about.

hung out with andy a little bit last night. for some reason being around him just kinda makes me sad. its weird. i think that there is just a lot of hurt from the way he treated me the whole time in asia and then also from the way hes been acting since we got back. i dont know. we need to talk, but last time i tried he told me i was paranoid. thats not something he usually would say. and i dont know why he would. i dont know how to talk to him about it. but hes still my friend. and i miss hanging out with him all the time like i used to.

sorry for this long boring post, but its been an interesting week to say the least. i am way excited for the 20 girls, but its just that everyone is so freaking out about keeping them that im afraid they are going to drive away the old members in the process-including me.

please. keep praying. im gonna need all the prayers (plus God really likes talking to you :) )
recruitment is over. 20 new girls! thats good news.

band camp is over. mostly learned all the stuff i needed to in less than half the time it should have taken me. thats good news, too.

and now its back to the real world. Thank goodness that includes being allowed to walk in randall and hang out with morgan and amber. its been so hard to be so busy and to have so much on my mind and not be able to see them. its like in asia, when i didnt have either of them, i was going through a lot of healing (which is awesome), but in order to heal you have to fully feel that pain first, and i didnt have either of them with me. well, moving into the house with a different roommate than i expected-one that practices wicca and tarot cards-without them has been really really hard.

it hasnt been bad yet. in fact, ive only been in my room like 10 minutes at a time when im not in bed. but im so scared. im praying, and i ask for lots of prayers. but oh man, its going to be so hard. what am i going to do the first time she pulls out a pck of tarot cards? leave? turn up my worship music? tell her to stop? i dont know. maybe just sit in my bed and pray for her. i think thats the only thing i can do. and ill tell her im praying for her. maybe that will help.

its weird when you are sitting in your room and its all set up, all your stuff is there, but it still feels like camp. and then you go over to randall hall, into your old room, and none of your stuff is there, its totally different, but it still feels like home. man, its gonna be a tough year. but i know its what God wants for me. He wants me to move people. and He wants me to talk about Him. well, im going to do it. and im going to pray, and im going to learn to love it. because thats what obedience is all about.

hung out with andy a little bit last night. for some reason being around him just kinda makes me sad. its weird. i think that there is just a lot of hurt from the way he treated me the whole time in asia and then also from the way hes been acting since we got back. i dont know. we need to talk, but last time i tried he told me i was paranoid. thats not something he usually would say. and i dont know why he would. i dont know how to talk to him about it. but hes still my friend. and i miss hanging out with him all the time like i used to.

sorry for this long boring post, but its been an interesting week to say the least. i am way excited for the 20 girls, but its just that everyone is so freaking out about keeping them that im afraid they are going to drive away the old members in the process-including me.

please. keep praying. im gonna need all the prayers (plus God really likes talking to you :) )
i am spent 08-14-05 19:25
so i moved in on friday. i woke up at 5 am after i had only gotten like 3 hours of sleep. we had to be completely moved in and making progress at unpacking by 4, because then we had meetings until about 10.

Yesterday i started band camp. i was going back and forth from band camp to recruitment stuff all day. i woke up at 7:30, and didn't go to bed until after 2. in the morning.

today has been more of the same. 9 am had meetings. been running back and forth. i still have tons more to do tonight. this is like my longest break in the day (like 30 minutes). ill probably be up until like 2 again finishing everything.

im really really tired. yeah.


trust me, i have sooooo much more stuff to journal about-like weird roommate crap and other stuff, but i have more meetings in 10 minutes. so ill have to journal again later. meh.

(on the bright side, it is awesome to see all my sisters again. i just wish i had enough free time to hang out with morgan :( )
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toadwat